This phone is so dumb, it’s brilliant: Frugalmatic Zero G

If a single piece of technology could describe the 21^st century, it would probably be the smartphone. It’s made life more convenient and exciting for millions of people. But there’s just one problem: This device often distracts us from the things that matter most in our lives, whether it’s our friends, families, or co-workers. Fortunately, the folks at Frugalmatic have discovered a solution: the Frugalmatic Zero G. With this device, you can focus on your most important tasks—whatever those may be.

It does such a great job that you can bring it to the dinner table without feeling tempted to ignore the other people eating with you. I tested some prototypes on both our kids, placing the devices next to their dinner plates. While they spent a minute or so examining their Zero G phones, they largely ignored them as we ate our meals and chatted with each other. These impressive results inspired me to launch my product line.

Frugalmatic Zero G: a biodegradable device with infinite battery life

Made from 100% wood, the Frugalmatic Zero G is entirely biodegradable. It’s also rugged and capable of withstanding multiple drops. What’s really exciting is the battery. It lasts longer than, well, any battery you’ve ever used. You’ll never need to charge your Zero G. That’s right. The battery life is near infinite.

At this point, you might be wondering: “This sounds great and all, but what about connectivity? How well does it pick up wireless signals, especially being made out of wood?” I can confidently say the Zero G is the only phone on the market that doesn’t need a signal to work. That’s why it’s called the Zero G. Forget 4G or 5G. You don’t even need 1G for this. It’s G-free.   

Read: Why eighth grade is too soon for a smartphone

Now featuring In The Moment Technology (ITMT)

OK, now let’s talk about the software. You’ll be raving about this phone’s operating system, powered by In The Moment Technology, or ITMT. ITMT helps you focus on the tasks that deserve your undivided attention: writing that research paper, finishing that DIY project, playing with your children, and (last but not least) keeping your eyes on the road in front of you. A key feature of ITMT is it blocks all social media, email, and texts. There’s literally no reason to look at this phone. 

The beauty of the Zero G is it puts you in control of your time. I’m not saying you won’t waste time while using the Zero G, but you’ll be able to waste time on your terms, not your phone’s terms. You can do things like hitting golf balls, fishing, or building a model of the Millennium Falcon. Heck, you can even start a website, thanks to all that time you won’t be wasting scrolling and texting on your Zero G.

Using the Zero G will leave you feeling a little lighter. You’ll never experience FOMO (fear of missing out) because there’s never anything to miss. You can drive with your Zero G next to you without having to glance at it to see whether you received a notification. That’s because the Zero G disables all notifications.

Read: Giving up your smartphone comes with big rewards

Never take a selfie again

Here’s another perk: There’s no pressure to take a photo when carrying a Zero G. Indeed, you’ll experience relief knowing you don’t have the option. With the Zero G, you can simply enjoy the moment and not feel like you need to “document” it. Most important, thanks to ITMT, you can break free from the selfie.

Never take a selfie again. Guaranteed, my friends. Guaranteed!

The Zero G is hack proof

Finally, let’s discuss Zero G’s amazing security features. Not many software and hardware manufacturers can claim their devices are 100% hack proof. But we can make that claim and without qualification. With the Zero G, you’ll never get hacked. You’ll never fall victim to a scam. You won’t need to remember passwords to use your Zero G.

Plus, your data will never be tracked. Zero G eliminates all connections between you and those Big Tech companies that love to snoop.

Everything you could want in a device

It’s true: The Frugalmatic Zero G has everything you could possibly want in a device.

• Stay focused on the things and people that matter most in your life.
• Enjoy infinite battery life.
• Use it anywhere, regardless of signal strength.

Read: How to get around digital gates in a smartphone world

Amazing limited-time offer

Of course, some people might be a little skeptical. How much does a device with such amazing capabilities (plus 100% biodegradable) cost? I can appreciate your hesitancy, which is why I’m now going to reveal the most exciting part of my sales pitch: For a limited time, I’m giving away the instructions to create your own demo device. It’s possible yours might not run quite as smoothly as mine, but who knows? Maybe your Zero G will be even better.

So, get a pencil and write down these instructions. You don’t want to miss out on this great opportunity.

Frugalmatic Zero G instructions:  

1. Cut a ¼-inch thick board (aspen for a light tone) into a rectangle: 2-1/2” by 5-1/2”.
2. Round the corners with a sander.
3. Add details using a wood burning pen. Or paint it. Or use a marker or colored pencils.

The most powerful device since the human vocal cord

After making your own version of the Frugalmatic Zero G phone, make sure to show your masterpiece to friends and family. They might want to make their own. And please share this link. Let your friends know that you’re a bona-fide innovator. A real techie.

Move over, iPhone. You’re done for, Android.

The most powerful device since the human vocal cord is here: the Frugalmatic Zero G. Make one today.